I Find I’m Friends With Facebook

June by

It surprises me how quickly engaged I have become with Facebook. It resonates with my experience of writing headlines. Summing up….luring the reader in, because the whole point of facebook is to engage.

I’m learning things…..sometimes from a moment of disagreement, infrequent though those are. And I’m not bothered if one of one can’t be resolved….though I work towards common ground. I have time to address, in my own mind, any question arising from a challenge and to respond more thoughtfully, beyond a gut reaction…not being rushed. Even getting part way to resolution leaves me with a sense of….well… friendship, as good in its own way as any other experience of it.

Zipline reduced

I don’t want to bicker….which can incline me to hitting back. Without body language and tone of voice it’s easy to just self-extract. There’s always other things that can use my attention. I can say to myself,“I shouldn’t be doing this anyway and my garden could use some love”. Which it always can.

And what if, in the instance of the actual writing any piece, such as this, I choose to segue into writing about my garden? Entirely my choice. I can experiment with the art of the segue. And of phrasing…because I really admire how that can add nuance.

I get exchanges about gardening; offer help….receive it, offer input, receive it, take all the time I need to compose a contribution or response…..back out of an exchange altogether. It is entirely up to me. I call that empowerment.

Edit. Sometimes I just don’t get across what I seek to. If it niggles at me I can go back and get it right.

A sticky key and too much haste not infrequently impairs my initial effort. I quite often have a bit of tidying up to do.

Try that face to face. Editing is part of my process on Facebook..simply because it can be.

The inputs I receive via a process of peer selection based on shared values is broadening and broadened. We might disagree…sometimes get a little childish, but interjection from someone whose energy, intensity and certainty are invasive can be eased away from. It’s not the experience I’m seeking. Otherwise….we’re O.K with disagreement.

It is relatively easy if chided to behave not out of fear that others will be watching but with the knowledge of it….and to respond from a better version of yourself. More thoughtfully, with greater consideration……in all its definitions. And already, aided by age and time, knowing I can do this inclines me to do it in ordinary conversation.

In my Facebook experience so far we share quite a range of thoughts. And my sense of it and experience of it includes a little shifting…..a little growing closer…..a little…well…liking. Yes there is dysinchronicity to be coped with but you can fine tune your inputs more comfortably when dealing with not quite so much of the other person or people.

The fear-factor is reduced….maybe because disagreements with no support from gesture, posture and tone simply aren’t so…scary. With less fear there is a far less intense defensive reaction.

I have found so far in this new-to-me experience an appealing presence of intelligence and sanity….humor too…out of which grows good will and appreciation of the humanity, not only of my Facebook friends, in absentia as it were, but of my more present self. Who would want less of that?

And for someone who seems to have some level of love affair going on with the English Language……..I get to employ a lot of it……to form ideas….to conveniently share them and for the sheer pleasure associated with putting thought into print.

And if your contribution helps in any way to expand what gets talked about…..well, you have found a passel of kindred spirits. Overwhelmingly caring. Name the issue and people will have thought about it.

And there’s the thing: Caring is a prerequisite for new thought.

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